He suffers, suffers and suffers,
Both on the earth temporarily,
And in the heaven permanently,
Because of his harassment,
His wife died young,
And is happy in the heaven.
But he is spending his days,
Trying to be happy and knowing not.
After the death of his wife,
How many troubles he has faced?
The children, the relatives,
The police and the courts.
Unrest, unrest and unrest in mind,
After years of suffering,
At last he died.
The past is better than,
The present it seems.
God punished him even in the heaven.
By throwing him into
The permanent fire.
For burning his wife alive,
This would not have happened,
If he had loved his wife.
I do believe that lack of love.
Is the cause for all the suffering.
I pray God to inject LOVE
Into the hearts of the Men.
D.D.S: Ladies and ladies, there are no men here, hence we need not be afraid. Though there are men here, hence we need not be afraid. Though there are men here I will not address ladies and gentle men, because I know well that men are never gentle. Men are afraid of wild animals and we are afraid of men. My dear ladies as an elderly soul I would like to address you on this ‘DOWRY DEAD SOULD DAY’. For a reason or other we are all being killed for dowry. Hence we come under one shelter. There are only two divisions on the earth i.e., men and women. Never believe a Man. He always tries to exploit a woman.
‘Tandoori Woman’ this word may be strange. A woman was killed and thrown to the fire in the kitchen and that moved the news recently.
As 85 years old man tried to outrage the modesty of a 16 year servant girl and she killed him with a kitchen knife.
Number of women are being raped and the men are escaping from punishment.
Woman are made nude and bought to the roads.
All these religions give the second place to the woman. They order that woman should obey man. Why? Because all religions are written by men and they say this is written by God.
We know that God is giving us equal status in the heaven. But on the earth man is deceiving woman in the pretext of religion, customs traditions.
No woman is living happy on the Earth.
There is a saying that woman has to depend on man, on father in the early ages, on husband in the youth and on the son in the old age? Why should she depend? Is she not independent that means man doesn’t want her to be independent. Freedom is the gift of God and our birth right.
90% of woman are adjusting with their husbands for number of reasons, like children, family prestige, social problems etc., but they are not happy in their mind. Their husbands abuse them.
‘Thinking happy and knowing not’ many of the women are pulling their days.
Man’s ‘ego’ is the cause for all these happenings. ‘Ego will go when we go’, where his ego goes when he dies?
We beget them, feed them, love them and serve them but in turn we expect nothing. But they never think of us and use us as servants for all works.
We are next to none. If a chance is given a woman can prove better than a man. Woman is more brave. Woman is more powerful. Woman has more patience. Woman is more service minded. She has all good qualities but what a man has.
He has only one quality i.e., exploiting woman.
On this notorious day we have gathered here to share our experiences. With my entrance here a new page is opened in the history of the heaven when God was shocked to know that I am the first Dowry Dead Soul. But the wonder is my husband never asked me dowry.
He became too greedy for riches. As we both hail from ‘Jamindars’ landlords families and as I am the only legal heir of my parents he has planned for my murder in a safe manner.
After a year of our wedding as there were no children for us he has arranged a pilgrimage to the Holy places on a dreadful dawn. While having a dip in holy waters, he dipped me into the river and all thought that I have died accidentally in the flow of water.
As souls we know all the things. Immediately after my death I could understand his mind, but I have never suspected before my death. If I could have suspected I would have taken my father along with us. afterwards my husband got married with a rich lady.
I invite some of you to share your experiences in brief.
D.D.S: I hail from a very poor family with hard efforts my father could perform my marriage, with his savings of 20 years, which was spent within 20 hours. Some of the house hold items were purchased and a dowry of Rs. 5000/- was given.
My husband was a crack. A day or two he was happy with me for sex. I believe just after my marriage I think on the fourth or fifth day he told me that he got an offer of Rs.10,000/- dowry with a girl which pinned my heart. Then I asked him that why didn’t he marry her. He told she was dark in complexion, so my complexion saved Rs.5,000/- to my beloved father.
Day by day he started shouting at me. I have tolerated. He beat me so many times I have tolerated because if my father comes to know he will feel in his heart and he may die as I am close and more attached to my father right from my childhood.
My parents invited us for a festival. We both went. After one year I was happy in my own place with my parents and brothers. He behaves very decent in front of others. He was pretending happy with me and I too. He compelled me to ask my father for many more dowry. I know my father’s position. With hard efforts he could get loan, purchased dress for us both and celebrated the festival.
For the first time in my life I said a lie to my father that my in-laws are in loans and they need Rs.3,000/- with a sigh my father said he will try. He has failed. This resulted a mess in my house leaving scars of my back. My husband beat me severely on that day. His father and mother were rouges. They too helped him.
After a month I made up my mind to protest and it costed my life. My husband was an electrician. He has put the wires on me while I was fast asleep and I died of electrical shock.
I would have not died if I had told my father all these things.
D.D.S. My case is a special case. My husband was so loving. I too couldn’t understand. He made an LIC i.e., Life Insurance beyond my capacity and gave me a cup of milk at bed times and that’s all.
D.D.S. My husband was mad. He used to drink daily. Rupture my mind. I was vexed with him. When there was no money to drink he used to beat me and I used to run to my father close by.
That dreadful day there was no money to drink. He asked me to get Rs.10/- from my father. I have asked him that my children are suffering without proper food and clothing and do you want money for drinking. That’s all. He beat me blue and black.
D.D.S. I hail from a rich family. I married a rich man, but poor in mind. My father has spent a lot for my marriage and Rupees One Crore was given as dowry or in other words bribe for marriage.
After fulfilling all his desires with me, he planned for my murder by removing the breaks of my car. The end came with an accident.
D.D.S. Mine is a different story. I saw my husband with a woman in my house.
That dreadful day I have returned cancelling my journey as I forgot to take the jewel box of my sister to my father’s place. The doors were open and I entered my house and shocked to see my husband with a woman.
That was the third time I was going to my father to bring more dowry. I could understand that the money I bought from my house is going to this woman.
Before I have shouted, my husband pounced on me.
She tied my hands with a rope pressing clothes into my mouth. The world thought that I died in a fire accident in the kitchen.
D.D.S. We both were working and were very happy. The trouble started when my old father distributed the property to my brothers.
My husband asked me to go and ask for my share. I tried to convince him by saying that, my father educated me and spent a lot for my marriage and gave what ever he wanted to give me in the shape of dowry. On the other hand my brothers are not settled well and suffering without proper jobs and with number of children.
Strictly speaking our both salaries are more than sufficient for us and even we can support our parents, but my brothers never expected a single rupee from me.
The old building was not so costly but the land costed a lot hence my husband became greedy.
This created a difference of opinion between us. That has slowly developed to an extent that we hated each other and couldn’t live together. But for the sake of my child I couldn’t leave him. He has planned to kill me to get the financial benefits as I was working.
On a dreadful night he took the child away and used my pillow to kill me.
D.D.S. Mine is a strange case I used to get a doubt always that whether I have married my husband or my mother-in-law.
My husband is a slave to his mother. To talk with me also he has to take his mother’s permission.
As per their demand my father gave a building, a car and cash worth of Rupees Fifty lakhs but they were never satisfied.
All strict rules in my in-laws place. My mother-in-law sits like a queen and I have to work like a servant. I was never allowed to go to my parents.
Even when the phone comes I should not lift it. If my parents come to me some body will be with me as an observer i.e, like a spy. It was my fate after marriage.
I too have adjusted for the sake of the prestige of the families. But now I understand it is the false prestige. When it is burning inside how can we cover the flames?
One fine day when my father came fortunately I was alone in my house. He burst out with tears saying that he has gone in the wrong route to earn through bribes for the welfare of us(i.e., myself and my younger sister) but all the bribes turned into dowries have become swords on our necks.
He requested me to come to him leaving the husband as by that time he could understand my position in the house. I was just a slave without freedom and always in fear.
I am educated and I could have joined a job and could have married a job holder equal to my cadre. But my fate was in the other direction.
My father-in-law is a puppet in the hands of my mother-in-law. I believe she is ‘Rakshasi’ a devil.
She planned for my murder. Her son supported her. I was beaten to death by both of them when my father-in-law was not in the house.
Her plan was for the second marriage for her son. So never live with mother-in-law is my experience.
D.D.S. Don’t think all men are bad. My case is this. I loved my college mate and got married with him. We were very happy. We enjoyed life like anything.
But one day all of a sudden when I was lighting the kerosene stove I was caught in flames. My beloved husband jumped to save me, he could save my life but sacrificed his life for my sake.
After three years I got married again because my father was persuading my mind. I didn’t have any interest for marriage though I was young and only 22 years of age.
The fellow revolted as I really loved my first husband. I have shouted my father for this marriage. Then with lot patience my father and mother both told me I should forget the past and live peacefully with him as life is so valuable.
This fellow was greedy after money. He was a crook, a bruit, and a cheat minded fellow as he took more dowry, number of times directly from my father without my knowledge.
As I am the only daughter to my parents and as there were no brothers to me all the property is mine only.
My father couldn’t understand him. One fateful day while we were going in a boat he drowned the boat where my father, mother and myself died as we were not swimmers and he swam to the shore.
So I’d like to tell that my first husband was so loving and I am lucky to have him but my second husband rather I don’t call him husband who is a murderer who killed me and my parents is a cheat.
D.D.S. My husband used to cut my back with blades and put the burning cigars on it. He was a sadist. He hurts me at delicate places.
I wanted to run away. I couldn’t abscond because it was like a palace. At last he enjoyed by killing me. The wonder is he is more religious and prays often a day.
D.D.S. I want to give conclusion to this conference. There are some loving husbands, no doubt about it. But a few are killing their wives. But I hate it even though it is a single case burnt to death on the globe. Let the billions of people i.e., the married live happily but I am concerned about that single life.
The parents beget the children and the children are nourished in their hands. Always there is place for the children in the hearts of the parents.
After the marriage it is natural that the married girls cling to their husbands.
The twenty years of attachment with parents is faded within 20 seconds after marriage. Let it be. No problem if the girl is happy after marriage.
But if the girl is unhappy in the married life with the husband, mother-in-law, father-in-law or with any in-laws, she should immediately inform the parents either personally or through phone or through a post card. Otherwise it is deemed that she is digging her own grave.
The harassing husband is equivalent to a dead husband. Think he is dead and come out, start your own life. Don’t wait till the point of dowry death. If the matter is brought to the public certainly your husband will be afraid. Otherwise he will harass you. The police and the courts are the last resort.
Love the husbands if they are loving you. Hate them if they hate you. Keep the religious customs and traditions aside which will not help you and may pave a way for your death. Never commit suicide as it is a loss to your life but not to your husband. A woman on the road is living! Can’t you! To live one needs courage? Act as per the situation. Put an end in the beginning itself for a poisonous plant in the mind of your husband. Be cautious and observe each ones talk and behaviour in the in-laws place.
When danger is ahead plan to escape and inform the parents. If your father is a heart patient try to tell him gently, taking your own time in the presence of your mother and convince him not to worry but to overcome the situation.
Plan well to live happily with your husband setting him right. Otherwise plan for your own life.
Let others and other things go to hell, save your life.
At last when there is no other go and your husband is about to kill you kill him.